My Love of Karate is Lost. The breakpoint, the loss of love is often the sensation of not finding purpose in martial arts.
Internal Talk
The internal conversation can be damaging. When you think you have lost your love of karate it sounds like a bad relationship in the last stages. “Why are we even doing this? Neither of us is happy.” This internal conversation is a dual killer of discipline, and desire. A relationship worth saving is worth working on.
Doldrums are Normal
Treat your martial arts doldrums in this manner. Talk with others, measure your life, and the training. You may not be in the right place, you may want to explore another art, or you are not getting what you need at your school. Students move from one University to another often. People take new jobs requiring relocation and pro athletes change teams. But before you pour that concrete sidewalk on your way out the door. Don’t. Once you pour that mental concrete it will set and you will walk that path.
Be Reasonable and Be Circumspect.
Perspective can be everything. An example is a conversation I had with a woman whose boss was hard on her. He had fired four other people on her team and she suspected she was next.
The other way to look at this could be, your boss sees something in you and is willing to cultivate it. The proof is the other four have been fired, you remain. See him as a mentor, not an executioner. Simplistic? Sure, many dynamics are at play and this is an abbreviated example. Is it possible you are looking at a similar situation?
It is difficult to solve a dynamic issue with a proclamation, “Doldrums are normal.” You may not be looking at the loss of love of karate with the correct orientation.
Baby Steps, or Chunking
Take small steps. Those small steps need to be forward toward the goal. You can call them baby steps. Baby steps are a fantastic example. A toddler has a goal, to walk like all the other people around them.
I have yet to meet a baby that after plopping down for the umpteenth time says, “That’s it, I’m not going to walk.” Baby steps are small, but the action never stops. Not walking is unacceptable. A real-world example of resilience and chunking. Chucking is breaking a goal down into manageable sections. In small increments a task is completed. Stand, get balance, step. Small and manageable.
When you have lost your love of karate. Know there are ups and downs, be reasonable in your internal conversation. Take baby steps.
Give yourself some time and let the love you once had sprout on your path. Take baby steps toward that wonderful experience you knew before you pour a concrete path.
Once that path hardens it is set and you will walk it. And that hard path leads away from and unlikely toward something.
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KRIS WILDER
Kris Wilder is a martial artist based in Seattle Washington. He has authored many martial art books, including the classic, The Way of Kata. Making no apologies for his obsession with Football he can be found telling any who will listen about the nuances of the Canadian Football League.
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