The award you do not want in the Martial Arts. The argument about your restrictions is a losing proposition. Sitting at the coffee shop with a buddy, he recognized a friend of his I didn’t know. He calls her over and in the course of the first thirty seconds of the meeting I learned of her malady, bad knees. She had always had them and it has limited her participation in physical activities. I was learning this in the first thirty seconds of our meeting.
He Story Was About Her Restrictions
She led with her malady. He story was about her restrictions. She wouldn’t have shared this with me if she didn’t think It made her special. I didn’t respond to the revelation of her bad knees; I jumped past the topic of her knees and went straight to her work. Over time I am learning to hold my tongue on occasion.
Special In Her Malady
What she said to me when we met and what I heard were different things. She wanted to be special in her malady I saw her as weak. A harsh response held inside my mind and not spoken. Yes, it could be harsh, but it is not if you shape it this way. “You led with your problem in an attempt to be special. What brings you to this point?” “Is this your only power?” Every person on Earth has issues, some are large, some permanent and some are passing. You are special, but not that special.
You get to keep the prize, whatever it is when you argue on behalf of your issues. It’s the award you do not want.
YouTube Lessons
Some of the most popular martial arts videos on YouTube are ones of people overcoming. The videos of a person is doing their version of their art despite limitations. I don’t need to list them, because you have seen them. “Kudos!” we say at the one-legged karate-ka kicking while on crutches, “You are an inspiration!” is the response to the 80-year-old first time black belt. “Well done!” to the child doing a kata competition while wearing an oxygen tank.
Not once has anybody said, “That’s awesome you decided not to take part because your knees hurt, here’s a gold medal.”
Balance These Things
I am not advocating for damaging behavior. Reckless acts that you will pay for in the future. And I am not suggesting one should lose their compassion. Balance these things.
You will get no gold medal, no accolades for leading with your problem. It is not the way we are built as humans. We have our moments, our failures, but they should be short-lived, not lived into.
Lead with your malady, and win the shallowest of prizes, pity. The award you do not want in the Martial Arts.
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KRIS WILDER
Kris Wilder is a martial artist based in Seattle Washington. He has authored many martial art books, including the classic, The Way of Kata. Making no apologies for his obsession of Football he can be found telling any who will listen about the nuances of the Canadian Football League.