IDK (I Don’t Know) as it’s said in the text world.
I Don’t Know Can Be A Statement of Honesty
I don’t know can be a statement of honesty. “I don’t know where the increase in the budget is going to come from.” In the context of business and as a tool, yes it’s an important statement to simply be able to say, “I don’t know.” But when it comes to the motions and the behaviors of people, “I don’t know,” (IDK) is not a good thing. The first version of course, “I don’t know,” explains that we simply don’t have all of the information. “My experience doesn’t allow me to see that,” or “I don’t have the budget numbers.”
Safety Value
When we get to the behavioral and emotional, I don’t know acts as a safety valve. I have a friend that used to tell his kids that, “I don’t know, means that you’re not mature enough to be in the conversation.” Now that works with kids when they are trapped in the back seat of the car they’ve got nowhere to go. They have to ruminate about this. But of course, you can see that’s pretty straight between the eyes. Not a lot of wiggle room. It’s simply saying grow up use your thought process and use your words.
In the setting of adults and emotional and behavioral. “I don’t knows,” (IDK) that is not a good thing. It often indicates a willing hiding. Hiding is burying your head in the sand;
you know as the old story goes. It’s refusing to address, it’s refusing to see, or to grow. The pain of growing, seeing, and addressing is measured as potentially more painful than the growth itself. The other reason could be that we’re a lazy person, that the person who said I don’t know is lazy, and it’s a nice sideways move to not have to address any of the issues.
No Thank You
“I don’t want to look at it.” “I don’t want to get up off the couch.” The metaphorical mental and emotional couch. It takes work, it’s hard, it’s unlikely that you would get a positive reaction should you call a person out on this. It works with a father with kids trapped in a car but it doesn’t work with adults. Or maybe it should? If you were to take a person and say to them that their response of, “I don’t know,” means they are too immature to be in the conversation. Or that they become blind well, you’re calling them out for not being very smart, or being lazy. Either is not a positive thing. So instead of meddling with other people’s lives and emotions and blind spots let’s let that go.
But let’s call it on ourselves. When you feel the inclination to use, “I don’t know.” take a quick sort, is it a business spreadsheets sort of I don’t know, or that is an emotional obfuscation.
Take A Pause
Let’s take a pause and take a quick look and see what we chose as our reaction. Use a very simple phrase, you needn’t speak out loud, but it is “I don’t know but I’m going to find out.” and then set about to do it.
A Pro Tip
Here’s a pro tip and this has been my experience. Usually, most answers to the question that you asked come early and they come easy. It just takes a thoughtful moment. A moment or two and poof, you’re no longer using the, “I don’t know.” You’re engaging with yourself and others at a higher level all at your own hand.
Here is a link to another post that maybe interesting These stories can be a good thing or they could be lies: Stories We Tell
A link from Elite Daily: Why Do We Avoid Confrontation?
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