Kris Wilder – Page 16

April 1, 2020December 21, 2020

IDK

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IDK (I Don’t Know) as it’s said in the text world.

I Don’t Know Can Be A Statement of Honesty

I don’t know can be a statement of honesty. “I don’t know where the increase in the budget is going to come from.” In the context of business and as a tool, yes it’s an important statement to simply be able to say, “I don’t know.” But when it comes to the motions and the behaviors of people, “I don’t know,” (IDK) is not a good thing. The first version of course, “I don’t know,” explains that we simply don’t have all of the information. “My experience doesn’t allow me to see that,” or “I don’t have the budget numbers.”

Safety Value

When we get to the behavioral and emotional, I don’t know acts as a safety valve. I have a friend that used to tell his kids that, “I don’t know, means that you’re not mature enough to be in the conversation.” Now that works with kids when they are trapped in the back seat of the car they’ve got nowhere to go. They have to ruminate about this. But of course, you can see that’s pretty straight between the eyes. Not a lot of wiggle room. It’s simply saying grow up use your thought process and use your words.

In the setting of adults and emotional and behavioral. “I don’t knows,” (IDK) that is not a good thing. It often indicates a willing hiding. Hiding is burying your head in the sand;
you know as the old story goes. It’s refusing to address, it’s refusing to see, or to grow. The pain of growing, seeing, and addressing is measured as potentially more painful than the growth itself. The other reason could be that we’re a lazy person, that the person who said I don’t know is lazy, and it’s a nice sideways move to not have to address any of the issues.

No Thank You

“I don’t want to look at it.” “I don’t want to get up off the couch.” The metaphorical mental and emotional couch. It takes work, it’s hard, it’s unlikely that you would get a positive reaction should you call a person out on this. It works with a father with kids trapped in a car but it doesn’t work with adults. Or maybe it should? If you were to take a person and say to them that their response of, “I don’t know,” means they are too immature to be in the conversation. Or that they become blind well, you’re calling them out for not being very smart, or being lazy. Either is not a positive thing. So instead of meddling with other people’s lives and emotions and blind spots let’s let that go.

But let’s call it on ourselves. When you feel the inclination to use, “I don’t know.” take a quick sort, is it a business spreadsheets sort of I don’t know, or that is an emotional obfuscation.

Take A Pause

Let’s take a pause and take a quick look and see what we chose as our reaction. Use a very simple phrase, you needn’t speak out loud, but it is “I don’t know but I’m going to find out.” and then set about to do it.

A Pro Tip

Here’s a pro tip and this has been my experience. Usually, most answers to the question that you asked come early and they come easy. It just takes a thoughtful moment. A moment or two and poof, you’re no longer using the, “I don’t know.” You’re engaging with yourself and others at a higher level all at your own hand.

Here is a link to another post that maybe interesting These stories can be a good thing or they could be lies: Stories We Tell

A link from Elite Daily: Why Do We Avoid Confrontation?

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March 25, 2020October 21, 2020

Bruised People

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Bruised People. We all have our heroes the people that we admire in their attributes the things that attract us to them. Those elements of their personality are bright, like the proverbial moth to the flame. We are drawn to those attributes that the person possesses. As an example, I’ve always held Theodore Roosevelt in high regard. I liked the fact that he was self-made physically. I liked the fact that he was of his essence. That he carried himself with his beliefs and his opinions and made it strong.

Engulfed

He had a will to power for himself and he became engulfed in that. Roosevelt went from being a man and was able to deal with the death of his mother and his wife within 24 hours under one roof, to a man who overshot his abilities and wound up in the Amazon jungle in a distress situation. His physical body was no longer capable to do with his mind wanted him to do. He may well be what we could call Bruised People.

We become immersed in these attributes, we become enticed, like that moth to the flame. The fact of the matter is that it’s an over-rotation. That it is a position. That we pull out of the person, out of their personality putting it under a microscope. Shining a bright light on to it and then begin to copy it.

People Are Complex

What we should do and what this recommendation is, is that we should realize people are complex. That their characters are more than one-dimensional and we know this. Yet when we look at the greats of history and the people that we want to emulate we seem to set some of that aside. Ignore it.

I’m going to suggest that you don’t ignore it. That we balance them in the discerning light. That we understand that there are complex people. It’s kind of like my mother used to say when we would get an apple that had a bruise on it. She wouldn’t say throw the apple away. She’d say “Just eat around the bruise.”

Everybody Has Their Blemishes

Everybody is a complex person. Everybody has their blemishes and everybody has their greatness. And when you acknowledge the blemishes or the bruises you can eat around it.

You can still see it but not consume it. And sometimes that bruise, those blemishes, the error of their personality is as important as that bright shiny light that draws us.

Thought Catalog: This Is How You Love A Damaged Person

You may enjoy this podcast, topic: Icon of Destiny

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March 18, 2020December 21, 2020

Crazy Catastrophe

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Crazy Catastrophe. There is this thing sweeping the world and evidently, we’ve lost your minds. I’m talking about The Corona virus and everybody is losing their minds the point of nausea. Sometimes it becomes difficult to sort out the true information.

The information that’s needed to make good choices. The run-on goods in stores for products, like toilet paper, or other items. It seemed to be irrational and rational at the same time have become commonplace.

Police and Product

In some stores, the police are assisting to keep order to keep people from fighting over that toilet paper or a bottle of water.

When we experience stress, we know that our heart rate increases, our pupils dilate, we get forms of tunnel vision and auditory exclusion. That’s how the body is built.

Upon observation, we would deem these people who are experiencing this as crazy. People that they’ve lost their minds, but the fact is that they haven’t. Nor have you. Stress creates this survival response. You get it, you know how this links together. It has served humans well both broadly and deeply since before recorded time.

Step Back and Observe

We need to just step back observe what can be done and what cannot be done and act accordingly. Firefighters, police officers, snipers, pilots they all train to be cool under pressure. The differences are these people have a specific environment in which to operate. A specific experience to exercise their cool.

But you don’t get that yours is an environment that is well again broad indeed it’s the everyday world. Can you create and sustain catastrophe cool? Is it possible for you to move through the day with cool observation? Can you recognize when you are beginning to dive into the stress? Dive into irritability, and impulse that’s created in the shadow of stress? Can you see others that are trying to infect you?

Humans Infect Each Other

Think about that for a moment, humans infect each other emotionally. The question is, “Can you observe the moments that we’re in right now, and can you observe what’s in front of us?” “Can you choose to see the emotions that are associated with these times and trials and yet not be subject to them?” Can you not let others infect you with the stress with the hyperbole with the crazy? is crazy catastrophe possible

Brains v. Backbone

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Brains v. Backbone. What’s better to be a genius or to have a backbone? You know the consistency of life? Fiber, fortitude, guts, grit? Well, I have an opinion and I set out to find out if it was shared by people I know.

Here’s my unscientific poll and the answer to that question and again it’s friends, associates, acquaintances, parents, and not scientific in the least. I ask this question, “Would you rather have your child be a genius or have a backbone, you know brains v. backbone?”

Can I Have Both?

While the responses were always, “Can I have both?” and for our purposes no you can’t. You have to choose from. After a short pause never has any parent selected anything other than backbone, and grit, guts. The parents never choose brains. I believe it’s because we understand that our children, students. As adults, we would rather wish the children would have grit than brains, bris v. backbone. Now I’m not suggesting stupid of course, and I’m not suggesting extreme on any end. The point is these that we all seem to understand that our children, our students, or friends are going to be happier. They’re going to live more fulfilling lives if they have grit, stick-to-itiveness

IQ is Hard-Wired, Brians v. Backbone

It’s my understanding that IQ is hard-wired to a great degree. Now there’s some flexibility of course with education and experience. Let’s move on to the larger aspect of this which is the hustle. The hustle is not fixed. Hustle is not hard-wired a can be taught. It can be grown; it can be groomed. If you don’t have your hustle on. If you’re not leaning forward in the saddle of your life, then what are you doing? You’re not as happy in life.

Hustle is Not Fixed

How you put that effort forward that’s your choice. Every situation is different in it’s going to require some analysis and matching up with a vision. The point is that hustle is within your control. The hustle is not fixed. You can build and expand, grow it. Like everybody else that I spoke to about this throughout the last year has pointed to. They would desire hustle and backbone for their child because they know that that’s going to be a happier life. So, I’m here to tell you that a little bit of hustle, some grit, some consistency, some fiber some fortitude, some guts. Brains v. backbone once again. That’s what makes for a happy life that’s what makes for a better life.

From Science ABC: Is Your IQ Fixed For Life?

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March 4, 2020December 21, 2020

Forgot and Forgive

Forgot and forgive. Hanging on to transgressions, errors, missteps, oversights, mistakes, and more is not a good idea.

It is called, “Letting somebody live in your head rent-free.” It’s, “Dying from the poison of the snake bite of revenge.” “Living in the past.” You can likely name a few other ways of describing this behavior.

Steve Martin Said Forget

The comedian Steve Martin did a routine years ago. His point was you should use the phrase, “I forgot,” as a way of getting out of things such as a speeding ticket. The idea of course is ludicrous. The reason it’s funny is that it is an upside-down world of importance.

A speed limit is important for all the reasons that we know. The idea of saying, “I forgot,” doesn’t meet the actual critical meaning that exists with the speed limit.

The safety of the driver, the safety of pedestrians, smooth traffic flow, all these things that we know. So, signs are posted so that we don’t forget.

But what about the meaningless things? The meaningless things of the past transgressions, the errors, the embarrassments. Those are the things that others have likely forgotten.

Here is Your Tip

Here you go, you should forget about them as well, all those transgressions. It is a pointless process, the constant review, rewind, it’s not important. Unless of course there’s a speed limit. Speed limits are important and we know why they’re important. Let the other stuff go. It’s shouldn’t take up your day. Here’s a tip. Next time you are indulging your mind in a dance of the past, and it is not a fun dance, and not a productive dance. Stop it.

Go Ahead Forget and Forgive

The way to stop it is to get up and do something to break that train of thought. Get rid of the poison of revenge, or entertainment of bad thoughts. By moving our body, we demand that our mind shift. So what am I saying? Don’t live in the past, don’t spend your time on things that other people forgot about, that is of no consequence. And when you do.

Stop it. Here is the tool. Get up and do something. Get up and move your body and here is the guarantee it’s going to work every time. 100% of the time it will work clearing your mind and bring your focus to the now.

Here is Steve Martin with his Christmas wish (it’s funny because it’s opposite)

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February 26, 2020December 21, 2020

Not Everyone is Virtuous

Not everyone is virtuous. I know it’s not a popular belief right now. We want to assume goodwill and that everybody has our best interests at heart. That’s not the way the world works.

Virtuous People, Non-Virtuous People

Here’s an example. Willy Brandt (1913-1992) who was the chancellor of Germany had to resign in 1974 after Günter Guillaume, (1927-1995) who was one of Brandt’s closest aides, was exposed as being an agent of the Stasi, the East German secret police.

Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (121-180). In committing to his son Commodus, Aurelius unleashed a man who was unbalanced and unfit to rule the Empire. If you want you can enjoy Joaquin Phoenix’s portrayal of Commodus in the 2000 film, “Gladiator.” You can gain some insight to the mental construct of Commodus through Joaquin’s role.

An Eye Tuned to See

What I’m suggesting to you is that you should let people show good decision making and integrous behavior. Assuming all people are virtuous is not responsible. In reaching back a moment a moment ago and looking at both of those examples of Brandt and Aurelius you can see without good observation things can turn out poorly as a result of their decision making.

In this case, we would consider to be poor. Affecting hundreds of thousands of lives were, if not millions, by assuming that the people around them were virtuous. Not everyone is virtuous.

Now I’m not suggesting paranoia. We won’t be perfect in our assessments of others. But like any skill, it becomes sharpened and better with use. Prove your good decision making and show an integrous trajectory.

Here is something that you might want to consider. Use the old Russian proverb, “Trust but verify.” With a little different rotation, you might structure the words this way, “Assume goodwill but verify.”

More on Marcus Aurelius: 5 LIFE CHANGING Quotes | Ryan Holiday | Stoicism

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