BLOG – Page 7 – Kris Wilder

November 27, 2020December 25, 2020

Winning Over Pain Two Views

Winning over pain two views. Pain and suffering are different and warriors and fighters hold them differently.

Pain has an end. An example would be when the surgeon tells you that the procedure you are about to undergo has a four to six-week recovery period. You go to the calendar and mark off the days, you know you will get better, and the better is likely to happen over this time.

Suffering is open-ended it has no end other than the end of your life. A person rarely knows the exact moment that they die. Some exceptions would be execution or suicide.

While visiting a friend in the hospital the adjacent patient was being visited by her family. The conversation was anchored by the woman on the bed, she said, “You know me I’m a fighter.”

A fighter. She was trying to convey her spirit. That she would not go lightly, that she was strong and likely stronger than the broken bones and internal injuries she faced.

Winning Over Pain Two Views

Fighters only know how to fight. The world is a nail and fighters are a hammer. Fighters are limited in the palette of response that they have to choose. Limited response leaves little confusion. A limited response also leaves little room for creativity.

Warriors have many choices and understand the expense and benefit of fighting. That bull-headed fighting may well be too expensive to the state they represent. Or damage adjacent partners. In other words, Warriors have a larger palette. Warriors have a toolbox that allows the manipulation of the nail in ways the fighter may never see.

A Good Plan Works

How does a fighter deal with pain? Quite well actually, a narrow focus and a timeline is part of the world of the fighter. Another item is suffering. Suffering is long, protracted, and with no end in sight. Suffering saps fighters of their energy. It breaks fighter’s will, their ability to fight.

Warriors deal with pain much in the same fashion a fighter does. This process involves a timetable, doing what is necessary, and seeing the process to the end.

Suffering for a Warrior can be different. Warriors identify suffering and then shift their focus. The focus is acute, and diverse as well. The effects of the moment are viewed in a more global vision.

Constant and unrelenting pain changes everything. It colors the world, changes choices. It has been my experience and observation a fighter holds pain differently than a warrior.

Is the woman in her hospital bed fighting the injuries sustained from an auto accident, less because she declared herself a fighter? No! She was meeting profound trauma with the best skills she has at hand.

You have to respect her, her spirit and her commitment to herself and those who love her.

A few links below you may find useful.

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

Kris Wilder is a martial artist based in Seattle Washington. He has authored many martial art books, including the classic, The Way of Kata. Making no apologies for his obsession of Football he can be found telling any who will listen about the nuances of the Canadian Football League.

November 26, 2020December 25, 2020

Being Gentle with Others

Being gentle with others. The story goes this way, as I remember it told to me. If I get a detail wrong you will still get the message. It took place several years ago about this time.

In the states, we begin to make our Thanksgiving holiday plans up to a month or more in advance. Getting back to the home nest is paramount.

As an example, airlines are crushed as people try to get to and from. The local news schleps out to the airport and takes footage of the traveling throngs. Then they follow the video with questions, “Where are you from? Where are you going? How are you handling it?” The media could recycle an interview from 1972. Nothing has changed.

Thanksgiving with Friends

The woman, whose daughter was in my karate class, started telling me about a friend. Their friend has a Thanksgiving dinner with friends and family. They attend. Several years ago, the guests were arriving for the Thanksgiving celebration. The knocks on the door began at the appointed arrival time.

The person closest to the door would answer the knocks, “Welcome!” A man, solo, responded by offering a pie with a “Hello, good to be here, thanks for inviting me.” While stepping into the house.

A Surprise Guest

After some time, it became clear that no group of people at the dinner knew him, nor did he know them. He was from another country and this was his first Thanksgiving.

The guy had been invited to a Thanksgiving dinner at a different address. The address where he ended up was similar to a co-worker’s address. It was kind of co-workers to make sure the man was not alone on the holiday.

Once the mix-up was made clear a laugh was had, and a, “Well, you are here, stay enjoy, we are having a good time.” Being gentle with others, it is a great thing.

He did stay. And was asked to come back next year, which he did. And for several years he attended. He stopped coming for Thanksgiving dinner when he had his own family. He then rightfully became committed to that experience.

What a wonderful moment. A wonderful story of people being nice to one another. No conditions, no litmus test, just being gentle with others.

A few links you may like to follow-up with.

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

November 25, 2020December 25, 2020

3 Traits of The Karate Zealot

The 3 traits of the Karate Zealot. They are similar to the sports fan. We all know that sports fan that has gone full in. The thing to do today is to create a Man Cave. And yes, it has been my experience that men dominate the world of sports fans. These folks are subject to the win-loss record of their team. Mondays can be tough if their team loses.

You know them and you love them, Raiders Fans. P.S. I’m a Raiders Fan, but no Zealot. But, KC Stinks!

Burn Them at The Stake

The religious zealot is demonstrating correct commitment. Think of it like the sports fan, who paints their body in the team colors. These zealots will place doctrine above compassion. They believe, without hesitation they are correct. The Cathars, a religious order ending in Europe in the 1400s were considered heretics. Cathar is from the Greek, Katharoi, meaning, “Pure Ones.”

When the last of the Cathars surrendered they marched from their stronghold singing hymns. The captures sang hymns louder. Then they burnt the remaining Cathars at the stake. The burring was to destroy the body so it could not be reconstituted in the next life. A warning to others.

A Story of Understanding

The 0verbearing boss has committed to the business plan. All well and good but they have lost their humanity. I was told, by a friend, about his lack of performance at work. A large company but his failures had not escaped his Boss. The meeting they had was powerful.

His boss informed my friend of his continued disappointment in completing quality work, and on time. Then the boss laid this on my friend. He said my friend was a good man, and capable. He also acknowledged the divorce and its impact on my friend’s life.

Then the boss went even farther. He said he would issue less work, and my friend had one quarter to get his act together. And check in with his boss often to help make the work correct. Generous.

The boss had two choices, cut my friend or fix him. He chose to fix him instead of lighting my friend on fire as a warning to others. The boss was no Zealot.

One way to look at a Zealot is as a person who has committed so deep, they have lost the purpose of their actions.

The sports fan, the religious zealot, the overbearing boss.

The Martial Arts Zealot and Their 3 Traits

Then there is the Martial Arts Zealot.

You know what they look like. Every effort is designed to prove purity and commitment. These zealots are so tight in their effort to be perfect they become ridged of mind and body.

They will work to eject less than zealots from the school. These zealots use physical means to bring others into compliance. Hold a choke a little long, strike harder than necessary. If you are an instructor, guard against these people. Their game plan is to ingratiate themselves to you.

Now the Hard Part

If you are an instructor and you are a zealot. You likely don’t see it and if you do you are unlikely to change. “It’s working, why change?” you say. It will work, for a while, and then it won’t. If you see this behavior creeping up on you arrest it.

We find super sports fans annoying. Religious zealots repugnant and overbearing bosses, make life hard.

Martial arts Zealots have the unique ability to combine all three of these nasty attributes. Hench the title 3 Traits of The Karate Zealot. They are annoying, repugnant, and overbearing. I see you shaking your head in agreement.

Zealots will dominate and impose their version of piety, or they leave with a dismissive comment about, “Doing it right.”

It’s not a cookie-cutter resolution, one size doesn’t fit all situations. It all has to be measured. All I can do is point to the three items that make the Zealot. The zealot that has lost the original purpose of their action.

3 Traits of The Karate Zealot

Annoying

Repugnant

Overbearing

Below are some links you may find of interest

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

November 24, 2020February 17, 2021

Best Karate in West Seattle

The Best Karate in West Seattle. Each year at the West Seattle Karate Academy we meet with well over 100 people in the West Seattle / White Center area about their desire to start karate training.

Our website is clear about the value of karate training. And the benefits associated with martial arts, as well as our rates, and times.

Sometimes the question arises, “Who are some of the other martial arts clubs you might recommend?”

Not to shy away from the question here are some other schools and clubs in West Seattle. These schools / instructors have great qualities.

This is not a list assembled by googling. I know these people and have been on the floor with them.

Best Karate in West Seattle, Well Kung-Fu

When it comes to Wushu and Tai Chi Sifu Resita DeJesus is the go-to person. Her studio is at 5423 California Ave. SW Seattle, WA 98136.

I have known Sifu DeJesus for some twenty years. She is affable, pleasant, and has high expectations for her students. I have been on the floor teaching with her at seminars and have had her instruct at some of my seminars. Sifu DeJesus is quick to laugh and wields a mean bullwhip too. Her accolades and skills run deep.

Tae Kwon Do – Again Not Karate

The West Seattle Tae Kwon Do Club is run by Master Darren Smith. Master Smith teaches at the Highpoint Community Center on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays. I know it violates the theme of Best Karate in West Seattle, but I think it has become clear it is about the people, not necessarily the art.

Take note: His classes are for adults only, 18+ and beginners are always welcome.

You will find Master Smith pleasant, thoughtful, and dedicated to his students. One of the attributes I like about Master Smith is he is always seeking, learning. You can reach him at westseattletkd@gmail.com

High Point Community Center in West Seattle at 6920 34th Ave SW, 98126.

Karate (Shotokan)

A member of the Pacific Northwest Karate Association Sensei Skip Matthews teaches at the Hiawatha Community Center. The address is 2700 California Ave SW. Seattle. Next to West Seattle High School.

Sensei Mathews and I met about a decade ago and he is a good guy. His classes on are Mondays and Wednesdays in a 2-hour block Beginners first-hour, Advanced the second hour.

Shotokan Karate is what he teaches. Shotokan could be considered the classic Japanese karate. Sensei Mathews is earnest, and pleasant. Ranks are earned with hard work and effort. You will get good training here under his guidance You can email him at: lsmathes2@comcast.net.

Also, the Hiawatha is the oldest community center west of the Mississippi, what a cool place to train.

Best Karate in West Seattle – Not in West Seattle and It’s Judo

The Seattle Dojo. The oldest Judo dojo in the United States the Seattle Dojo is the place to train in classic Japanese Judo.

I trained there and recommend the instructors as smart, and focused on their students. Tournaments are an important part of advancing in rank but are not required. Not in West Seattle, but they warrant a shoutout. The building was purpose built as a Judo dojo. The floor is spring-loaded and the walls are bathed in tradition and experience.

The facility is basic, no-frills because they train. It is common for Judo-ka from Japan who are visiting on business or for school to train at the Seattle Dojo.

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KRIS WILDER

November 24, 2020December 25, 2020

Discipline Must Blend into Motivation

Discipline must blend into motivation. There are many ways to train the human mind. There are classic forms of meditation, contemplation, and education. No doubt some forms of disciplining the mind have been left off this small list. I am confident you can point to another overlooked form or version of the three presented.

They all are overseen by the great governor of mental training; the primary is discipline.

Discipline means, in this context, doing what needs doing on an ongoing basis. To hold oneself accountable. Self-accountability can also mean who one thinks. The mental game, the mental training, is the separator between the great and the greatest.

Shannon Miller World Champion Gymnast on Training

In an interview with The Dana Foundation, whose motto is; Your gateway to responsible information about the brain, they talked with Shannon Miller. Shannon Miller is a former United States Gymnast. Miller won eleven gold medals, six silver medals, and four bronze medals in world competition.

Miller Stated “The physical aspect of the sport can only take you so far. The mental aspect has to kick in, especially when you’re talking about the best of the best. In the Olympic games, everyone is talented. Everyone trains hard. Everyone does the work. What separates the gold medalists from the silver medalists is simply the mental game.”

Motivation will only take you so far. Motivation is like a middle school crush. It is intense and it will go away. Motivation is a wonderful initiator. See motivation for what it is, a white-hot burn, then sort the discipline. Coaches will often say, “Find your motivation.”

A reporter may ask an athlete, “What’s your motivation?” these are not good questions, they are like asking a comedian, “Where do you get your ideas from?” That implies the ideas fly into their head, and sometimes their inspiration too, but mostly it is work. Disciplined work. Without the substructure of discipline, motivation is useless.

Calendar of Discipline with Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld is well known for having a calendar in his apartment in the early part of his career that he used to track his work. Every day he wrote jokes. Then he put an “X” on the calendar for that day he wrote. His discipline was not breaking the train of continuous days of joke writing.

Discipline must blend into motivation. It is not inspiration alone; it’s grinding it out when you don’t want to.

Ray Lewis Will Light You Up

The furnace of discipline needs stoking. Although I am fairly self-contained in motivation and discipline, we all need a boost. Something or somebody to blow on the coals in that furnace. I listen to, “Everyday Greatness, The Ray Lewis Podcast.”

It works for me. And it works for everybody I have recommended the podcast to. You may be the one off, but I doubt it. If you don’t know who Ray Lewis is here are a few of his American Football career highlights

Ray Lewis Everyday Greatness Podcast — Ray Lewis

Super Bowl champion (XXXV, XLVII)

Super Bowl MVP (XXXV)

NFL Defensive Player of the Year (2000, 2003) 2x’s

First-team All-Pro (1999–2001, 2003, 2004, 2008, 2009)

Second-team All-Pro (1997, 1998, 2010)

Selected to the Pro Bowl (1997–2001, 2003, 2004, 2006–2011)

All-Decade Team (the 2000’s)

100th Anniversary All-Time Team in the National Football League

Baltimore Ravens Ring of Honor

First-team All-American (1994, 1995) in college

The man knows of which he speaks.

Remember motivation is like the middle school crush, it will fade. Discipline must be executed even when the motivation is less than it could be. This is what separates the amateurs from the pros. Discipline must blend into motivation

And here is a trick to writing a joke.

Write the joke backward. Start with the punchline and then write the joke to serve the conclusion, the payoff. There is your pro tip of the day.

A few suggested links you may also find interesting.

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

November 23, 2020December 25, 2020

Concern is Better Than Worry

Concern is better than worry. Concern is life-affirming if used correctly. Worry is draining. Worry drains you and it drains those around. It steals your energy and is exhausting to those that surround you. The concern is external in many ways. Concern has a less internal residence in your emotional house.

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

– Leo Buscaglia

Concern can stand outside of the issue being observed that worry does not process. Concern allows you to see an issue that is in front of you, to set the majority of the emotion. Worry, on the other hand, personifies the issue at hand. Worry takes the issue deep inside your body. Then worry, like a fine guitarist, plucks the strings of your emotional guitar.

If I’m concerned about my teenage child or I’m worried about my teenage child, the results inside the body are different. It is no secret that a calm mind makes better decisions. But, the connection between a distressed body and bad decisions is often overlooked. And it takes an adroit mind to sort the modern-day world. Not that the modern world is horrible, it has outrun or physical and mental systems.

A Layer Cake of Worry

This is where you insert the modern culprits. The media, social media, traffic, bureaucracy, forms, rules, debt, divorce, etc. No one thing is responsible for the worry. Stack them on top of one another and you have a layer cake of worry

Worrying and concern travel together, but worry does not have a conclusion it spins on itself over and over again. A simple test you may want to use is to ask yourself every day, “Am I concerned about my work or do I worry about my work?” “Am I attentive to ____________, or am I worried?”

Kind of Mellow

Fedor Emelianenko (Fedor) is a Russian heavyweight mixed martial artist, sambist, and judoka. I loved watching him fight, direct, smart powerful. One powerful moment I recall was before one of his fights. I will do my best to recall the essence of the moment.

Fedor was sitting in his locker-room straddling a bench. Fedor was playing cards with another person, I assume his trainer. The announcer commented on this unusual pre-fight activity. In asking Fedor about the causal approach he replied, and I paraphrase, “The preparation is done, all that is left is to fight.

Turn Down the Worry

Here is the lesson. If you worry, turn down the volume of the worry by taking small action in the correct direction. It needn’t be large. Small acts, infinitesimal acts, are interpreted as action. Your mind and body respond in a positive way to correct action. This begins to prove concern is better than worry.

Buscaglia is correct, worry fixes nothing, and steals your future. Fedor is correct also, be prepared and you only need to act when it is time.

Summary: Take a small act in the direction of removing worry, and then prepare. The first act relaxes your mind and body into thinking things are moving in the right direction. The second part is the full-on Zen. Be ready and be in the moment.

Let’s make that concern is better than worry idea even smaller, three words

Small action, preparation.

Like more? Here are some links

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KRIS WILDER