Light the Lighthouse. Terror, fear, the pain they create confusion and then we go into survival mode. That’s not new the survival mode, but here’s a way to look at survival mode and how you might deal with it as somebody else is experiencing it.
The Sub-Personality
One way to look at this is as a subordinate personality that’s rising to meet the challenge of the panic, the terror, the fear, and the pain. These personalities are siloed and are not complete. However, they’re housed in the silo, they’re not total.
The person who’s experiencing these extreme traumas searches for the personality that can handle the moment. Once it’s found, Boom! They have an incomplete set of protocols. A set of behaviors that answer the simple question, “Can you make this stop?”
No Arguments
You can’t argue with the subordinate personality. The subordinate personality knows what it knows. It knows how to get what it needs, and will in some instances burn down the barn to roast the pig.
From the outside, this situation looks nasty and well many other terms. A friend of mine says it this way, “Keep the lighthouse lit.” Climb the stairs and light the lighthouse. The people you have lit it for well, they may still crash their ship, but you let the lighthouse.
The Lighthouse You Can Be
You’re standing outside of their frenzy, their fear, their panic, their terror. And you’re lighting a beacon for them to follow. It’s an incredible metaphor for one simple phrase which is “Look over here I can help you if you choose.”
If you find yourself staring into the face of pain confusion fear and seeing it in another’s eyes climb the stairs of your lighthouse.
Lite that lighthouse and do it again, and do it again, and do it again. Because that’s what you can do.
You can climb the stairs and light the lighthouse.
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KRIS WILDER
Kris Wilder is a martial artist based in Seattle Washington. He has authored many martial art books, including the classic, The Way of Kata. Making no apologies for his obsession of Football he can be found telling any who will listen about the nuances of the Canadian Football League.
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