Podcast – The Back Channel – Page 3

November 25, 2020December 25, 2020

Two Distinct Roles in Your Life

Two distinct roles in your life. One is the role of citizen the other resident. These two positions result in how you hold yourself in your community.

Resident v. Citizen

A resident is a person living in a place, that’s pretty much what they do they live in that place. Done. A citizen has rights and privileges a resident doesn’t have. A resident is not responsible, other than the laws, and a citizen is.

Here is an example. Walking out of the store I watched a young woman pull a candy bar from a wrapper. She then and throws the wrapper to the parking lot ground. She was born to citizenship. I assume, because if you are born in the United States you are a citizen, a leap on my part but there is my assumption.

Work is Required for One Distinct Role in Your Life.

Citizenship requires stewardship. It carries with it responsibilities, not just rights. But the behaviors are not mandated they are assumed and they are observed. You see being a good person is being a good citizen. I know that sounds trite, but it’s not, it’s not a cast-off statement, but a worked for and earned position. These are two distinct roles in your life.

It’s the same in life. You can do the minimum, you can be a resident of your body, of your mind and let your life drift. Or you can actively take on the challenge of being a citizen responsible to yourself, your family, and your community.

So, decide if you want to be a resident living in a place. Or you want to be a citizen one who is entitled to rights and privileges based on your allegiance to the community and all of the responsibilities that go with that role. These are two distinct roles in your life.

You may enjoy these links as well.

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

Kris Wilder is a martial artist based in Seattle Washington. He has authored many martial art books, including the classic, The Way of Kata. Making no apologies for his obsession of Football he can be found telling any who will listen about the nuances of the Canadian Football League.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

November 18, 2020December 25, 2020

The Menu of Life

The Menu of Life. Life is likely not going to go as planned. Your life well, it does what it does and as much as you plan, things change.

As much as you are an excellent planner, setting out that trajectory, establishing those goals, implementing them one after another successively. As you are moving towards that goal with values in assessments all taking place, well life has other plans. You say, “I’ll do this and as a result, this will happen.” It doesn’t always go that way.

We’re all mature enough to know things don’t go our way, but here’s a way to reframe that experience. Planners can experience frustration when things don’t go the way they’ve been planned. There’s anxiety, fear, “It’s not supposed to go this way!” is the response. We could call that reaction immature but that’s not realistic, and a little naïve.

Reframe The Baking, Let’s Cook

Let’s reframe this let’s rethink of it in terms of food preparation. You see life is cooking, it’s not baking. Cooking you can fudge a little, change the ingredients. You can add a little here, take away something here, adding some pepper to it instead of whatever the recipe says.

One of the ways that you can see this in life is on a restaurant menu. You see the phrase. “Our take,” or “Our spin on a classic pasta dish.” Maybe a Pasta Primavera and our spin on it. That is cooking. You can change the bread of a clubhouse sandwich and still have a clubhouse sandwich.

Errors in Baking

Baking, leave out an ingredient or change one. Switch salt for sugar, they look the same but you don’t get the result you want. Everything is changing. So, life is not baking it’s about cooking it’s about being flexible. Can you change the ingredients can you change the cooking time if you want? Are you flexible enough? If you’re baking you’re not, you’re setting yourself up for rigidity and disappointment. Choose cooking to be flexible and enjoy that meal your cooking.

A few extra items you may find helpful

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

November 10, 2020December 25, 2020

Learning Agenda

Learning agenda. Learning with an agenda is predisposing yourself to a conclusion. This type of learning serves a purpose but it also narrows our lives. We create silos of knowledge and the desire to learn and be entertained. We create silos of knowledge. In those silos, we have a predisposition. We have a planned outcome of our learning agenda and it’s also entertaining.

Take a baseball fan and look at the numbers. The statistics about the game come at you in a hail storm. These numbers mean everything to the baseball fan and to you it likely means little. But you should know the basics of the game. If you are going to the park and watch the game, you’ll enjoy it more, if you understand what is happening on the baseball diamond.

Break Out

The suggestion is we break out. That we take our advice about diversity, about social diversity, about biodiversity. This is understood to be indispensable in the health of all endeavors. Learning with an agenda is learning just enough about baseball to ask a runner to hold on 1st with 2 outs in a full count. Yeah, you don’t do that. If you don’t understand baseball, you don’t know the intricacies of what is transpiring out on the baseball field.

How about biodiversity? Famine and soil depletion are the results of one crop planted repeatedly in the same farmland. People die from lack of food because the overuse or the lack of diversity of the land. Learning with an agenda is narrow and it is also important. I need to study for this test it creates a focus. A focus to find what you want and how it can suit your immediate need. An example is, I have to take a driver’s test. But burst out of that in your personal life find a shoulder item to study.

The Shoulder Item & The Learning Agenda

The shoulder item. Here’s the way to think of that. You’ve got your head and that’s your basic endeavor, let’s say martial arts. A shoulder interest might be on one shoulder, yoga and the other weight lifting. Similar but different endeavors. So, find a shoulder industry. Find a shoulder to study and go ahead and learn something about it. Learn for the sake of educating yourself.

Lidia Valentín Pérez is a Spanish weightlifter, Olympic Champion, 2 time World Champion and 4 time European Champion.

Recently I chose to learn more about Olympic style weightlifting. In particular female Olympic style weightlifting. I got an education and a half. Not only about competition, styles, and philosophies but learned some things that I can use in my day-to-day life.

So, learning with an agenda has a purpose but burst out. Find that shoulder, find that thing and learn about it so that you are diverse. Like the biodiversity, the social diversity, and the cultural diversity, because if you don’t you can see the results.

A few post you may find of interest.

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

November 4, 2020December 25, 2020

Light The Lighthouse

Light the Lighthouse. Terror, fear, the pain they create confusion and then we go into survival mode. That’s not new the survival mode, but here’s a way to look at survival mode and how you might deal with it as somebody else is experiencing it.

The Sub-Personality

One way to look at this is as a subordinate personality that’s rising to meet the challenge of the panic, the terror, the fear, and the pain. These personalities are siloed and are not complete. However, they’re housed in the silo, they’re not total.

The person who’s experiencing these extreme traumas searches for the personality that can handle the moment. Once it’s found, Boom! They have an incomplete set of protocols. A set of behaviors that answer the simple question, “Can you make this stop?”

No Arguments

You can’t argue with the subordinate personality. The subordinate personality knows what it knows. It knows how to get what it needs, and will in some instances burn down the barn to roast the pig.

From the outside, this situation looks nasty and well many other terms. A friend of mine says it this way, “Keep the lighthouse lit.” Climb the stairs and light the lighthouse. The people you have lit it for well, they may still crash their ship, but you let the lighthouse.

The Lighthouse You Can Be

You’re standing outside of their frenzy, their fear, their panic, their terror. And you’re lighting a beacon for them to follow. It’s an incredible metaphor for one simple phrase which is “Look over here I can help you if you choose.”

If you find yourself staring into the face of pain confusion fear and seeing it in another’s eyes climb the stairs of your lighthouse.

Lite that lighthouse and do it again, and do it again, and do it again. Because that’s what you can do.

You can climb the stairs and light the lighthouse.

A few podcast you may find of interest.

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

October 28, 2020December 25, 2020

Whispers of Defeat

Whispers of defeat and crab pots. The story of the crab pot goes like this. A bunch of captured crabs are in a bucket and as one crab has made it to the rim of the bucket, about to escape it gets pulled back down by the other crabs. The truth is that this is a function of the crabs trying to escape. They’re looking for something to hang on to, to pull themselves up and away and out.

Subsequently, through the act, another crab has pulled them down. We look at this and say, “Ah, look at all those crabs trying to pull the other crab back down into the bucket to live with them.”

You Are Not a Crab

I doubt one single crab looks at it that way. But it’s a wonderful story. The story has a great visual that you’re trapped like the crabs and you need to remain with the rest of the crabs. “Get back down here with the rest of us who do you think you are?” The illumination of the story is a message of the group always pulling, those try to better themselves, back down into the group. The act helps in justify the group position in life work or relationships. That is overtly clear in the story, and physically demonstrated.

What about the people who have given up they want you with them as well, but they work in small ways? They’re subtle they get your ear and they whisper, “Listen to me I’ve been there.” “I fought and lost; you’ll lose too.” “That’s how they get you.” All these are examples and there are many more of the kind of this subtle whisper.

The whisper that becomes persistent. It’s sometimes difficult to observe because it comes from a loved one, it comes from a person of authority. How do you identify somebody as a crab in the crab pot that’s pulling you down? That’s pretty easy.

The Whispers of Defeat are Loud

How do you identify somebody who’s in the bottom of the crab pot, in the corner? This subtle form of persistence is sometimes difficult to observe. Because it comes from a loved one, it comes from a person in authority, it’s a whisper from love and authority. That whisper is as powerful as a coach’s whistle in a gymnasium, action stops.

It’s a balancing act. How do you look at somebody’s earned wisdom that they’re offering to you and sort it out and say, “I’m not so sure that that applies to me?” Does it come from a situation that doesn’t exist anymore?

Does it come from the age of buggy whips? Or does it carry an immutable truth, one that has spanned the time, the distance of generations? Are you listening to a person that has given up? Given up like the crabs in the bucket, they’re doing what they can do out of instinct? The action that fails all with whom it comes into contact with?

Yes, it’s a balancing act. Yes, the message does come from power it, does come from authority and it does come from loved ones. It’s a difficult task but to listen to the whispers of people that have given up on their dreams, it’s not your world it’s theirs.

Here is a video (15:42 long) with an in-depth explanation of the Crab Mentality

Another Back Channel Podcast about: The Stories Well Tell Ourselves

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

October 21, 2020December 25, 2020

Victim Times Three

Victim times three. The title sounds like rejection or oddly an acceptance of what is happening, but in a strange and odd way. “This is not happening,” or I am a victim of a certain circumstance is not an attractive look.

Business Destroyed

Recently my karate dojo got flooded. The dojo was destroyed. The unit is going to be stripped to the walls. And finding contractors in this environment is difficult. I’m not teaching in my dojo, not for some time.

Upset when I got the call? No, not at all. It’s not what happened to me, it is life and life always is happening. Life does what it does, pipes fail in this instance. Other things have happened to you I’m sure. Some of those things, well you can measure smaller and some I’m sure you could measure much larger. In seeing life happening and not happening to us we take away the victimhood.

Victimhood Is Not Honorable

Victimhood is popular but it’s weak, it is not virtuous and it is narcissistic. Let me say that again. Victimhood is weak, it lacks virtue and it is narcissistic. It’s weak because it has a ceiling, it only goes so far, and then it limits out. It reaches the top and it doesn’t allow the true potential that a person possesses to rise to blossom to bloom.

Victimhood, it lacks a virtue is not good, that lack of virtue is a result of poor standards personal and public. You see there incomplete. Thirdly victimhood is narcissistic and it’s the weakest form of narcissism. It doesn’t define you by your good looks or your status. Victimhood defines you by your self identified incompleteness. It says that only something other than yourself can repair you. A victim is in denial of who they should be.

The Taste Is Bitter

As for the flood of the dojo? Did I want to be upset when I got the phone call? Yes, I wanted to for about one hot second, then I saw it as victimhood and I spat it out, the taste is bitter. It was a good day, a win, and I trust you will find those wins in your life. Where you’re able to say, “That victimhood, no that’s not happening,” because life is not happening to us, it’s happening.

How to Stop Being a Victim and Start Creating Your Life from tiny buddha

Here is a podcast that offer concrete action you can take immediately to shift away from victimhood: What Happens

Let’s Connect

KRIS WILDER

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS