There is a saying that goes, “Letting somebody live rent-free in your head.” That saying means a person has long since left the situation, but you continue to go over what happened. The saying is attributed to Ann Landers who wrote in an advice column for 56 years.
They Are Gone
The idea is that the person who has left the scene, their acts, their behaviors are ruminated by you. You go over them and it agitates you. The thoughts in the recurring visitations. The issue is that the person who is living rent-free in your head has long since moved on. The person may well not recall or at least place no value on what happened.
You are spending your precious life energy ruminating about something that is likely meaningless. Something that has long since meant nothing. There is a reason that person you are allowing to live rent-free in your head. And there’s a reason they did not make it into your future. They chose not to go with you into your future, or you decided to move forward without them.
Except They Made It Into Your Head
If you or they have chosen to move into the future, well go ahead and purge them. Purge the thoughts, don’t drag them against their will into your future. And against your better judgment.
If you can understand the reason you let them live in your head rent-free your way ahead. Maybe you feel offended. There was some transgression, they drank straight from the milk carton. It’s all your choice to explore the reason. And to let that person go.
They Likely Don’t Care, Nor Should You
To not let them continue to live in your world, in your mind. Because they don’t care and you probably shouldn’t either. If you can find that reason that’s the key. Take a moment to sit. Spend the time to understand the reason why and how they made it into your mental future and not your physical future.
And let that mental future go because nobody gets to live rent-free in your head.
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KRIS WILDER
Kris Wilder is a martial artist based in Seattle Washington. He has authored many martial art books, including the classic, The Way of Kata. Making no apologies for his obsession of Football he can be found telling any who will listen about the nuances of the Canadian Football League.
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